People who should go to Jail

I constantly update this list in my head, so why not write it down and update on this blog:

[Editors note: offensive material to follow, deal with it]

1. Men who deem it necessary to wear Speedos--whether or not you are good looking is inconsequential.  Go straight to jail, do NOT collect $200. No seriously, go to Jail. 

 (Middle Aged Gentleman, Jones Beach)

2. Families who drive and/or own a van/mini van, etc.,  Unless you plan on selling your children from the back of your van, get an SUV!

3. Drivers with a 'baby on board sign', or 'My child is an honor student at XYZ bumper sticker. I gotta be honest with you, I can care less if you have a kid let alone if your child is an honor student. Should I put a sign on my car that reads: unmarried, no child...my parents raised me well

4. Any particular reason why you are driving in the fast lane 20 miles under the speed limit?

5. Thoughtless individuals who stop in the middle of the sidewalk or in front of a

door/stairs/escalator/elevator/ etc. Stand off to the side and get the hell out of my

way some of us have things to do.  

6. New Transplants and Tourists.  Though I appreciate your assistance in NYC's fiscal economy I do not appreciate your attitude.  

7. Head to toe designer monogram wearing individuals. i.e. matching Louis Vuitton bag, wallet, change purse, belt, jacket, etc. You suck! You are giving these fashion labels free advertising. They are NOT paying you. And trust me when I say, it looks tacky and ridiculous.  Plus, I can tell that wallet is fake!

8. People with poor manners, but you guys knew that.

9. Smelly People! Take a shower, use perfume, cologne, axe, deodorant, antiperspirant, whatever have you.

10. People who wear running sneakers casually, i.e. when they are not doing some form of physical activity. This, in Manhattan, is just plain inappropriate. Unless you are planning on running from the Police later there is NO reason for you to look as if you are. Get yourself a pair of casual kicks like a pair of Chucks or loafers, or something, de-pump the basketball on your Reebok's and use only when appropriate.

11. Why are you wearing north face around Manhattan? Are you from the Midwest or Upstate NY?  Clearly, you're new to the city...

12. People who are too PC are seriously annoying. You breed ignorance.

14. Reading the sports section in the newspaper does not entail you 'read the newspaper everyday'

To be continued...